To
begin revising my essay, I am going to first start with my research question. I
am keeping the same idea in my question, just altering the wording a little to
make it more clear to my readers.
As of now, my research question states, “How has technology hurt our
literacy in society?” However, thanks to the suggestion of my peer reviewer, I
am now altering my question to say, “How has technology negatively affected our
society’s literacy?” Next, in the second paragraph of my Part I, I need to
change my wording and sentences around because I am repeating information. This makes the example that I am giving
unclear. Moreover, I need to
explain my idea a little clearer in the third paragraph of Part II. I state that newspapers and writing letters
are becoming less popular.
However, I need to explain how this affects and hurts society’s
literacy. I could also be a little
clearer when I use the quote from Future
of Literacy. I should
elaborate more on how this quote is relevant to my research topic. Furthermore, in Part I, I could make my
first and second paragraphs lead more into how I got into reading on the iPad
and using technology. Lastly, I
need to double check to make sure I am using all aspects of MLA format. For example, I need to adjust my
in-text citation when I use the quote from Future
of Literacy. In the end, I
should take a close look at my sentence structure to make sure all my thoughts
are conveyed clearly. If they are
not, it may take away from the meaning behind what I am trying to say.
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